Last Words
Posted on January 27, 2010
The old man smiled, one last time. Battered by disease, soft wrinkled skin drooped lazily over his brittle skeleton and each breath he took exacted a heavy price. He knew he didn’t have many of them left. His hair was gone, and the muscles of what was once an elite athlete could barely support the weight of his head. But his eyes were clear and bright, shining intensely, staunchly refusing to miss a second of this, his final passage and greatest adventure.
The thing that struck me most about his eyes, the thing that I will never forget, was the absolute lack of fear within them. There was curiosity, forgiveness, acceptance, and the slightest bit of nervous anticipation, but no fear. My own eyes were cloudy and wet. I was afraid. My head was spinning as I tried to find the right words. I choked on the simplest expressions of love and gratitude, of admiration and respect, in the end all that came out was a blubbering version of “I love you,” yet somehow that was enough.
I leaned in to give him a final hug and his chalky hands tensed around mine. A strength that could not have been his own held me close as he whispered in my ear. His voice was rough with emotion and scratchy from the effort of speech.
His last words, like his life, have become a mantra of mine. They remind me of what matters, and how precious a gift life is. The words themselves were simple, and even through the pain of disease I could hear his smile and sense his satisfaction within them. “Kitt,” he said, “there is only one thing in life that you can be sure of.” His breath was warm against my ear, and it brought with it a sudden calm. The confused sobs of helplessness and tight black sorrow that held my heart released their grip. Clasping my face gently in his hands he looked into my eyes and I could feel all his energy, all the vitality that he had ever possessed flow through me as he spoke. “The simple truth is, you live, and then you die, so you damn well better live.”
So here’s to living; every day, every moment, because in the end, all we ever have is how we choose to live.
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A Letter to senator Obama
Posted on November 3, 2008
Dear Mr. Obama,
I voted for you. Even registered early at the county courthouse, just like you told me to, blackening in that little multiple-choice bubble next to your name with determination and a pinch of pride. There was also some anxiety, similar to the feeling I get right before I jump off something high, a waterfall perhaps…as if there was a certain amount of abandonment involved, a “close my eyes and hope for the best” type of moment. You see Mr. Obama, in that little cubicle I gave you more than my vote. I gave you my faith, and there is precious little of that left in me with regards to politics and politicians. I’d been guarding the dregs of it doggedly for the last eight years, but it’s all yours now Mr. Obama. I put my trust in you and, to be honest, I want something back in return. 
I want you to be the symbol of hope and optimism for the 21st century that you speak about so eloquently. But talking about anything doesn’t change it, even if that thing is change itself. So take action, take risks, take the initiative, and do these things now because we have already wasted too much time. People will love you and people will hate you, yet you must encourage them all to understand each other. You must make people believe in the sacredness of being human and inspire them to rise above party lines, nationalism, religious fundamentalism, racism, and all the other purveyors and profiteers of hate. I want you to be more than a democrat or republican, but rather an individual who can see beyond the petty arguments and political maneuvering of an antiquated two party system in a divided world. I want you to be the foundation for the rest of this century, to give the world an example of a 21st century leader and set a paradigm for generations to come.
America’s greatest weapon has never been a missile, plane, or tank. Rather, it is the basic, primal optimism at the root of every American Dream that has defined us as a nation. The belief that, in this land of the free and home of the brave, anything is possible, and that success is available to anyone. That freedom isn’t just a buzzword for war, but a fundamental right to choose our own destiny, as individuals, as a nation, a world, and a planet. As the leader of the free world Mr. Obama, you must demonstrate that freedom without tolerance is bankrupt and totally meaningless. Acceptance, unity, enrichment, education, peace, these should be the buzzwords of the 21st century.
I believe you will win this election, and the country you will stand at the head of is a demoralized one, dangerously close to losing that sacred American optimism. It will take all of your strength, talent, skill, and stamina as a leader to guide us into the 21st century. You will inherit a financial system in ruins, a stagnant economy, an environment on the verge of collapse, and a world population growing rapidly towards critical mass. There is more violence and hate in the world today than there has ever been, and the majority of both of those are directed at and created by the United States. To change all of this you will step into a decaying political structure so full of red tape and stuffed with bureaucrats, lobbyists, and special interest groups that change comes in inches when we need miles of the stuff.
Yes, that’s asking a lot…but you’re going to be the president of the United States of America for god’s sake (I don’t mean that literally, in fact it appalls me that I even feel the need to write that…) and it’s about damn time that particular position meant something again. Make us believe in our leader and leadership, and we, the American People, will do the rest.
I wouldn’t wish your position on anyone, but I believe in you Mr. Obama. I didn’t vote for you because of your policies, your political affiliations, your television advertisements or celebrity supporters. I voted for you because you incite emotion inside of me. Use it, use the emotional wave that you are on to bring people together and show the world and ourselves that the 21st century can be about more than war, hate, lies, and the general failure of government and financial institutions to protect and serve the very people who have made them so powerful.
I find hope and optimism in the belief that you are more than just a democrat or a republican, you are an individual who can rise above the bullshit that has plagued Washington for so long. You must become that individual. Please, please don’t listen to those who tell you to do things the way they always have been done. Do not let yourself fall victim to the quagmire of red tape and bureaucracy that await you in Washington. Redefine, rebuild, restructure, reinvent, but don’t redo, the days of repetition must end.
Onward,
Kitt Doucette
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